Patara, Maddox Street, Mayfair

Mr Oil and Mr Vinegar have journeyed to the far east of Mayfair to sample the Thai goodies on offer at Patara. It was a mixed experience.

MrO: Whatever you say about that lunch, it certainly started extremely well.
MrV: The staff were utterly charming, initially, and the starters were delightful, although I can’t help comparing them to Bangkok in South Kensington, which I think offers tastier satay and fish cakes.
MrO: I know what you mean – the satay sauce could have had a dash more peanut and the fishcakes a little more spicy heat, but they were delicious nonetheless. And the fish cakes included those prawn cakes on sticks of lemon grass, which were excellent and which I haven’t seen at Bangkok. The do-it-yourself tacos with chicken and prawn were inspired.
MrV: Quite comical that they are called kamon bueng DIY. Evidently the Thai language doesn’t have a word or acronym for DIY.
MrO: I daresay that’s the fusion of old and modern Thailand. What did you think of the main courses?
MrV: Ah, well, this is where we hit the perennial problem of Thai food – the mains courses never live up to the starters. I knew we should have ordered half a dozen starters, but you insisted on the boring, traditional approach.
MrO: The mains were beautifully described. Who could resist a “thick cut of grilled wild boar steak sautéed in coconut red curry sauce with sweet basil”?
MrV: I certainly could, having tried it once. There was no flavour of boar at all that I could discern – just that sweet coconut taste swamping everything else. I wonder if it was farmed wild boar, rather than genuinely wild. If it was farmed it would naturally have less flavour than a truly wild beast. There are plenty of wild boar farms in the UK now but I can’t think why they are allowed to call the produce “wild” when clearly it isn’t. Why haven’t the bossy EU commissioners made them change the name of the meat?
MrO: Well, the rice noodles with king prawns were very tasty.
MrV: They looked fine at first glance but as you know on closer inspection I found that the intestinal tract of one of them had not been removed, and it was full. I am sure I don’t need to tell you what lurks in a prawn’s intestinal tract, but you are probably aware that they are bottom feeders and will eat anything they find, even previously digested items, provided there is some nutritional value left in them.
MrO: I thought that there was no harm in eating the intestinal tract.
MrV: I am no scientist, but it certainly doesn’t appeal. What irritated me more was that when I showed the waiter the offending king prawn, he grunted non-committedly, took it from me and disappeared. No explanation, apology, replacement or refund was offered.
MrO: There was another dish we tried – the melange of seafood in piquant chilli sauce.
MrV: I recall ordering it and I remember it arriving on the table, but there my memory stops.
MrO: Well you certainly ate your fair share of it – rather more, I would suggest.
MrV: Possibly so, but I remember nothing about it at all. Perhaps the sweet coconut sauce on the tame boar drowned my taste buds for a time.
MrO: You seemed to enjoy the wine all right – you drank most of the two bottles we ordered.
MrV: The restaurant can’t claim much credit for that – it was Pinot Grigio, made a long way from either London or Thailand.
MrO: Patara is a very successful small chain of restaurants. It is extremely popular and well reviewed. But you would not go again?
MrV: I would, I suppose, but I would run through the starter list and go nowhere near the main courses. And I think I’d go in the evening, as the décor doesn’t really suit daylight.

Mr Oil and Mr Vinegar ate three starters and three main courses between them, washed down with two bottles of Pinot Grigio and three further glasses of house white wine, plus coffee, at a total cost of about £180.

Patara
7 Maddox Street
London
W1S 2QB

+44 (0) 207 499 6007

infomaddox@patarauk.com
http://www.pataralondon.com/