Chez Kristof, Hammersmith Grove *NOW DEFUNCT*

Mr Oil and Mr Vinegar break with convention and dine in the company of their wives – purely because it is Valentine’s Day and Mr Vinegar is worried about appearances. They travel out west to Chez Kristof, in leafy Hammersmith Grove.

MrO: I do think you made far too much fuss about that expedition.
MrV: Maybe so, but I didn’t want anyone to think there was something going on between the two of us.
MrO: I am sure they wouldn’t have done. Not everyone dining out on Valentine’s Day is on a romantic assignation.
MrV: They all looked as if they were, except the marrieds, of course, who didn’t talk to each other.
MrO: Anyway, having taken the precaution of bringing our wives, I can’t see why you felt the need to drag us away from our usual haunts all the way to Hammersmith.
MrV: Just a precaution. Reputation is everything.
MrO: I’m glad you did, though. Chez Kristof is an excellent find.
MrV: I wasn’t too sure about those pink cocktails they thrust into our hands as soon as we sat down.
MrO: It was all part of the Valentine’s menu. The ladies seemed to enjoy their Raspberry Royales.
MrV: I was less convinced about the almond thing – amaretto, triple sec and pineapple juice.
MrO: But the food was jolly good.
MrV: I was hoping that you or one of the wives would choose a different starter to mine, so we could have compared. But you all followed me down the foie gras and chicken liver parfait route. Your wife was quite sharp with me when I suggested she try something different. She’s always been one to speak her mind.
MrO: Anyway, the starter was excellent. We were more varied for the main course. Your wife was very accommodating – typically so, if I may say - agreeing to share the chateaubriand with me. Very good it was, too.
MrV: I quite enjoyed my slow roasted pork belly but I wish they’d done proper crackling. Restaurants rarely do. Instead of crackling they’d sort of fried one side of the pork until it became crispy. Your wife was a little rude about her sea bass, I thought.
MrO: Complained it was bland. Said we’d left her with little choice having ordered the two best things on the menu for ourselves. She reminds me of you in many ways.
MrV: That’s precisely the sort of stupid comment that get’s people talking. And I hope you are not suggesting that I’m overly-critical. Nothing could be further from the truth.
MrO: If you say so. The puddings looked delicious.
MrV: You should have had one.
MrO: I would have done but Mrs Oil was quite determined to prevent me, saying it was high time I started counting the calories.
MrV: You would have enjoyed the chocolate moilleux with salt caramel mousse. And the women seemed to love that chocolate fondue. You looked rather pathetic, sitting watching every forkful from the plate to our mouths, all hangdog. Very funny.
MrO: There was no need for you to wave yours under my nose.
MrV: It added to my enjoyment of the evening immensely. The wine list, incidentally, was adequate, but hardly inspiring.
MrO: You gulped down that Rioja greedily enough.
MrV: Your wife positively encouraged me to – said you wouldn’t want any of it. She seemed to enjoy that white burgundy though, didn’t she? Didn’t let my wife get much of a look-in.
MrO: I think we should go back again, but without the women. The food was worth revisiting, and also I could have a proper go at the menu and the wine list.

Mr Oil, Mr Vinegar and their wives had the Valentine’s night menu at £50 per head and spent a further £70 on wine and service.

Chez Kristof
111 Hammersmith Grove
Hammersmith, London W6 0NQ
+44 (0) 208 741 1177

info@chezkristof.co.uk
www.chezkristof.co.uk